The charm of heartfelt humor

  • Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 12:01 a.m.
    UPDATED: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 6:07 p.m.
  • Text size: A A A

So you forgot to make a dinner reservation for Valentine’s Day. The florist is out of roses. And your budget doesn’t allow for a night at the Sanctuary.

Try this: “I’m sorry, dear. By the way, a dog walks into a bar ...”

Or not.

A soon-to-be-released report says humor can help diffuse tense conflicts in relationships — the right type of humor, that is.

The study, expected to appear in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in April (online this month), involved 93 dating couples who were videotaped while trying to resolve conflicts.

Humor helped, but not self-defeating humor, which provoked negative responses from partners who were distressed.

More effective was humor that was positive. Good advice to keep in mind on Thursday, the day when some hearts swell with emotion and others break in two.

Too bad the study, “It’s in the Way that You Use it: Attachment and the Dyadic Nature of Humor during Conflict Negotiation in Romantic Couples,” doesn’t come with appropriate jokes.

The title, though, is sort of funny.

Comments { }

Postandcourier.com is pleased to offer readers the enhanced ability to comment on stories. We expect our readers to engage in lively, yet civil discourse. Postandcourier.com does not edit user submitted statements and we cannot promise that readers will not occasionally find offensive or inaccurate comments posted in the comments area. Responsibility for the statements posted lies with the person submitting the comment, not postandcourier.com. If you find a comment that is objectionable, please click "report abuse" and we will review it for possible removal. Please be reminded, however, that in accordance with our Terms of Use and federal law, we are under no obligation to remove any third party comments posted on our website. Read our full Terms and Conditions.