Here it comes, Charleston's CBS commericial

KIAWAH ISLAND — Tiger Woods will wear his Sunday-best red shirt at the Ocean Course and it will be like waving a red cape at a bull market.

CBS will have five hours of coverage from the 94th PGA Championship today, and another five Sunday.

Jim Nantz, talking about a major unfolding on Kiawah Island with Spanish moss draped all over Ian Baker-Finch. And Verne Lundquist in some tower gently rising above seascapes, knowing this surely isn't Baton Rouge.

“The golf course makes sure it has your attention,” Rich Beem said Friday after finishing with a relatively respectable second-round 76.

It will get lots of attention this weekend.

If you think the Lowcountry is full of transplants from Ohio and New Jersey (and Atlanta and Charlotte), you haven't seen anything. Just in time to surge cash into a sluggish economy, prepare for the biggest commercial for Charleston since Union soldiers went home and told everyone about the amazing deals on waterfront property.

In that case, it took more than a hundred years for the message to soak in. Not this time. The TNT Network blimp shots were spectacular Thursday and Friday and CBS will turn the Ocean Course into a real estate boom likely to play out over the next decade.

Buy now. Sell later.

On TV, they won't see the Friday traffic jam that extended roughly from North Myrtle Beach to the first tee.

David Feherty and the rest of the CBS crew won't dwell on the loyal spectator who got soaked on Tuesday, almost had a sun-stroke Wednesday morning and watched his visor blow across the sixth fairway Friday afternoon.

Not even Gary McCord will say, “Before I throw it back to Peter Oosterhuis, let me just add that no way this place hosts another major unless they build a superhighway over that bike lane that runs out here.”

It's all about the visuals.

Darius and gators

People walking through department stores in Des Moines and Harrisburg will stop, see the beachy backdrops and say, “Wow, where is that?”

They will Google and learn that Darius Rucker and Bill Murray were schmoozing with fans. They will put the house up for sale and text the boss with resignation news.

All without realizing that Aaron Baddeley is making a charge up the back nine.

Not that the action won't grab 'em; it will.

“It's just a hard golf course,” Adam Scott said Friday, “because it doesn't really invite you to play many low shots in the wind. So you've got to put your ball up in the air and rely on the wind doing its job, or not.”

The Ocean Course invites such intrigue. Hackers around the world are watching these skilled tour professionals wrestle with fickle wind. They think they can hit a given shot every bit as poorly as the defending Newfangled Insurance Company Open champ.

The Ocean Course has weird wind.

I tell you, folks are fascinated by weather. Ernie Els said Friday the second round was about “survival.”

Don't people love survival shows?

There are big gators, too.

Viewers truly appreciate a good nature program.

Non-attendees this weekend will receive Tweet pics and Instagrams from relatives walking the Ocean Course and immediately opt to depart Duluth and go into the shrimping business.

Not Rochester

You might think it's always like this at PGA Championships, but not really. Not as many TV shots of kids surfing at other venues.

Lots of friendly folks from Rochester are here this week promoting the 2013 PGA and handing out “Visit Rochester” magazines, complete with the cover story “Beyond your Expectations.”

As in, you think Rochester isn't madcap fun but how about the Lilac Festival in May and the neat Erie Canal tours?

The Whistling Straits course in Wisconsin is breathtaking. But golf enthusiasts are smart enough to know winter rules apply approximately eight months out of the year.

The Ocean Course sells itself, and once newcomers realize they can't afford that mega-million dollar bungalow on the fairway, they will buy in Summerville, North Charleston or Mount Pleasant.

Cash will trickle down.

Your life will improve.

At least enough to finish that room over the garage in time to host visiting relatives.

Reach Gene Sapakoff at 937-5593 or on Twitter @sapakoff