GILBRETH COLUMN: This mixed bag includes some unsolicited lyrics for Adele
Say, if Warren Peper ever decided to write a shrimping column, wouldn’t it be called “I’m just seine”?
Speaking of puns, Fran Clasby says that on this day 200 years ago the first Dalmatian was spotted, and they’ve been spotted ever since.
Jim Augustin has a great promotional idea for an unlimited supply of a brand name bar soap: Zest for life.
Old Sheldon Church
The piece here about the Sheldon Church elicits the following from Katherine Jenkins Plair.
“I read your column on Old Sheldon Church this morning. That, too, is one of my favorites, but I also have another one that is close to my heart.
“My father was born at Brick House Plantation, along with seven other siblings. You may have known his sister, Liz Young (Elizabeth Jenkins), who just passed away last month. My father, John Micah (Jack) Jenkins, was born literally inside the house in 1915.
“Unfortunately, Brick House burned when he was about 16 years old. Our grandmother left the property in a trust for the Jenkins family to enjoy and there are several little cottages built around the ruin.
“Fortunately, Aunt Liz’s grandson, Simons Young, recently received notice that the state plans to reward the family with a grant for a conditions assessment. He is hoping to get matching funds to stabilize the Brick House ruins (on the National Historic Register) and prevent collapse. Since Aunt Liz always joked that the walls would fall at her demise, I hope Simons can get moving ASAP.”
A few weeks ago, I tried to write what I thought was a reasonable commentary on the modern-day state of conservatism and what might prevent it from getting annihilated come November. Needless to say, it didn’t go over well in certain segments.
Take Wayne Salkeld’s response (in part): “Your article was disgusting beyond belief. It clearly demonstrates the right wing’s hatred of Americans and American workers.
“There is no doubt that the greatest threat to our country and our economy is foreign slave labor, mostly Chinese. Chinese slave labor has done more damage to our country than any army we have ever fought in history. The federal government has a constitutional obligation to protect our country from foreign enemies and we need to do it right now.
“We need only to restructure our tax laws to protect our country and our citizens — all of our citizens — not just the few who make millions taking advantage of slave labor available from countries who care nothing about their citizens and our politicians who care nothing about Americans.
“We could easily cut corporate taxes on those companies that manufacture here and raise the hell on those that make their money bringing in foreign goods.
“Concerning the national debt, we must cut spending and develop new sources of revenue. We must try something that has never been done before. Let’s tax rich people!!! With tax revenue at a sixty-year low, maybe this would help.”
Adele and lyrics
On a totally different subject, the British singer Adele recently had a huge night at the Grammys and joined other artists such as Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse and Eric Clapton as a multiple winner in a single evening.
Her signature song from last year, “Someone Like You,” showcases a rich, impassioned contralto and young love vulnerability. The refrain goes like this:
“Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead’”
Poor thing! She’s been dumped by this guy and is obviously very hurt and upset but is determined to be generous and magnanimous in her response, which would seem almost out of touch and disingenuous if she weren’t so young.
When better senses and time prevail and it’s clear what a cad this fellow is, I’d propose for the young lady a revision along the lines of the following:
“It’s true, I found another like you
Gave him a swift kick in the pants for you, too
Please forget me, I plead
My self-respect I need
Somehow it has survived, thank God, you stupid jackass.”
Or something like that. Just a thought, and I won’t even charge a lyricist fee!
Edward M. Gilbreth is a Charleston physician. Reach him at edwardgilbreth@ comcast.net.