Listen up, guys! Narcissism kills

Gordon Gekko (“Wall Street”). Charlie Harper (“Two and a Half Men”). Patrick Bateman (“American Psycho”). Jean Dujardin (“The Artist” -- a great film, and pay attention to the dog; he’s the real hero).

What do these characters have in common? They’re grandiose, feel entitled and can’t empathize with others. Narcissists through and through. And under that callous skin of theirs, they’re also on the fast track for heart disease, dementia, diabetes and the doghouse -- not to mention divorce court.

Narcissistic men crank out a lot of the stress hormone cortisol. (Surprisingly, that’s not true of narcissistic women.) Unchecked, that chemical messenger -- FLEE! FIGHT! -- wreaks havoc on the body and relationships. But you can rein it in and avoid the mess it creates.

Here are three ways to manage stress and limit damage.

--Drink tea. No kidding. A daily dose helps your body recover from stress and cools health problems. Certain compounds in tea (polyphenols, flavonoids, amino acids) calm you down.

--Change shoes. Choose someone you know (but don’t much like), and imagine being them. Run through his day -- trying to see the world through his eyes. If you can empathize, you’re not acting like a narcissist, and that helps you manage your stress.

--Get nicely nosy. Personal connections relieve stress. Consider what you don’t know about someone close to you -- then fire away. Ask questions; listen and absorb. When you aren’t thinking about your Grand Self, your stress diminishes bigtime.