Pair consider adoption, marriage

Steven Niketas and Michael Routzahn own the Mount Pleasant cafe and catering service Mosaic.

Niketas, 43, is in charge of the restaurant and catering operation; Routzahn is the event planner. They live together in West Ashley.

Niketas, who grew up in Charleston, did what he could for years to hide his sexual identity, he said. He did not want to confront any potential opposition or difficulty.

He left in 1991 to attend Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, then stayed to start his restaurant business. He opened his Lowcountry restaurant about seven years ago, and a couple years later returned for good.

"I decided to let the chips fall where they may," he said. Instead of resistance, he experienced love and acceptance.

He said that coming to terms with his sexual orientation has been a moral obligation.

"I'm not an activist, but I still feel an incredible amount of responsibility to be myself."

A gay friend of his set the example "in just living life," Niketas said.

Routzahn, 26, grew up in a small town in Maryland where, in high school, members of the football team loosened the lug nuts on his tires, he said, nearly causing an accident. He perceived an uncomfortable spotlight shining on him and the need to escape, he said.

He came south to a city he knew and loved, enrolling at the College of Charleston.

During the last few years, the two men have settled down. Usually they are occupied with work, friends, family and the myriad daily tasks that shape a life.

But occasionally they have talked about adopting children or getting married or changing attitudes in the U.S.

Niketas said talk about "gay marriage" rankles him. He hates the phrase, saying it suggests that a same-sex union is not the same as a heterosexual one -- that the love and commitment are different, that certain legal rights should not apply.

In subtle and perhaps unintentional ways, it condones prejudice, he said.

"I am more offended by that than anything," Niketas said.