Improve your position in negotiations

The changes in company structures over the past two decades have removed layers of managerial authority. As the old reporting relationships disappeared, the buffers, rules, policies and procedures that kept interactions structured went with them.

In today's flatter organizations, for a variety of reasons, people find themselves dealing with others occupying a variety of organizational positions and at varying distances. Many of these interactions are what Deborah M. Kolb and Judith Williams call "shadow negotiations" in their book "Breakthrough Bargaining."

By this, the authors mean situations where the other person sees no compelling reason to negotiate. These often occur where there are power differences between individuals because of race, age, gender or organizational titles. The key to moving things forward, say the authors, is to begin by creating a value and making it visible. In other words, frame the issue to your advantage in a way that doesn't leave the other person free to sort through the possibilities.

As in other negotiations, the upcoming interaction requires prior research and decisions on the outcome you will accept and the point where you will walk away rather than take anything less. As Diane Harris, CEO of Hypotenuse Enterprises, advises, "Better to lose a deal than have a bad deal. It's as important to be able to walk away from a deal as do a deal." This is especially important for a woman because of the organizational culture, the set of beliefs that others may bring with them to the discussion, or both. The ability to walk away adds power. A business owner balances her power and her interests.

Rebecca Smith, founder and president of the A.D. Morgan Corporation, a large construction company, employs 50 people with annual revenues of about $80 million. "I find myself leading and managing men 99 percent of the time," she says. "Even some of our clerical staff are men. The men are all different ages and intellectual levels. How do I do it? I think that the key to my success is the fact that I don't ask them to do anything that I wouldn't or couldn't do myself, and they know it. There is a tremendous power in knowing that you can walk out onto a job site and fire anyone in the company and do their job."

Smith attributes the success of the firm to projects finished on time, within budget and without the confusion and complexities created in the field. "It is nothing more than 'old fashioned service' delivered by a very talented and energetic team who is supported by the latest computerized equipment and systems."

Business owners obviously have considerable power. What about organizational women? The fact is that while women do not prove to be nicer, softer or less effective negotiators than men, the sex-role stereotype of the American woman as passive and compliant can create a dilemma for women handling complex business negotiations, as can a "feminine" approach to business dealings.

Laura Kay, author of "Leading Through Negotiation: Harnessing the Power of Gender Stereotypes," cites two important research findings in the difference gender makes in negotiating to solve conflicts. "First," she says, "on average, men's behavior is more competitive, or self-serving, than that of women.

"Second, men reap more favorable outcomes on average than do women. ... Although these differences may be relatively modest in size, the fact that they occur across a variety of contexts with differing populations suggests they are capturing a robust difference between the sexes," Kay says.

What can you do to develop a more powerful position in the negotiation process that bypasses the gender and sex role stereotypes? One study suggests that it is possible for women to perform well in negotiations by strengthening the mental link in the other person's mind between stereotypically feminine traits that are seen as positive (such as empathy and communication skills) and making the important point that, irrespective of the stereotypes, he is dealing with someone who is rational, assertive and has a high regard for her own interests.

In their book, "Her Place at the Table," authors Judith Williams and Carol Frohlinger report interview findings from more than 100 women leaders, many of whom say they made these faulty assumptions in negotiations:

--My choice is either yes or no.

--My appointment speaks for itself.

--I can pick up the slack.

Keep in mind that not just the outcome is under negotiation, but the discussion process itself. A powerful beginning requires doing all the homework to make the process and the setting as successful as possible. And keep in mind it may not be winning this time but somewhere down the road.

Dorothy Perrin Moore, Ph.D., is professor emerita of business and entrepreneurship at The Citadel.The Job Coaches are experienced volunteers from the Center for Women's Job Counseling Program. Ask them a question at 763-7333 or email info@c4women.org. If you want further assistance, make a counseling appointment; a donation of $35 is requested.