Get the word out: 5 tips to be heard loud and clear

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Chances are you have some important things to say -- to your employees, your boss or your significant other.

But are these people actually hearing you?

Subtleties in our communication, both verbal and nonverbal, can drastically affect our message and the way we are perceived.

"Despite our very advanced communication technology, we are losing our ability to communicate," says Marie-Louise Moreto, owner of MLM Personal Development. "Interpersonal and nonverbal communication skills are becoming a lost art."

Communication is the way we present ourselves to others and is a critical component to being a leader, says Pat Johnson, president of Toastmasters International.

"We often will be called to serve on a committee, or serve our community or our country because we can express our thoughts, or we can take the thoughts of the whole group of people, assimilate them, process them, and then present them -- and so it's a very, very powerful tool to have and critical to people's careers," Johnson said.

Deborah Socha McGee, director of the College of Charleston's Speaking Lab, has studied the differences in men's and women's communication styles.

Among them: Men focus on accomplishing tasks with their communication (such as reporting on events and procedures), while women communicate in ways that help them build rapport and harmony in relationships. They may focus on making sure everyone feels comfortable and included.

And while women are stereotyped as being chatterboxes, in public situations, it's men who talk more often -- and for longer periods of time.

So what can you do to get your message across?

Here are five things our experts recommend you do to be heard better:

1. Listen.

Listening helps you connect with the person you're speaking with, says Johnson. "That's how we validate people we're around: We make eye contact with them, we listen intently, we acknowledge that we hear what they're saying ... and then they want to talk to you because you pay attention to them."

Listening also informs your thinking, which is important because "out of our thoughts come our words, and there we become known," Johnson says.

2. Be clear about what you want or need.

McGee says that men tend to be direct in their communication, while women tend to hint about what they want because they don't want to impose their ideas on others. "As a result, many women are disappointed because men don't pick up on the hints. Sometimes we expect people to read our minds."

McGee admits she is guilty of this. And so for her 15th wedding anniversary, she vowed to stop beating around the bush and to ask directly for what she wants and needs.

"Both my husband and I are much happier."

3. Wear clothing and accessories that don't distract.

Your physical appearance affects your message, according to Moreto. Avoid clothing that could be considered provocative, even if it reflects the latest fashion trends. "It subtly alters a woman's body language and how she is perceived."

4. Avoid diminutive language.

Women soften their statements by using phrases such as "it's kind of like ..." instead of "it is like ..." Johnson says. They use the word "little" a lot, as in, "I'm going to take a little trip," or, "I've got a little project to do."

McGee agrees. "To sound more confident, avoid qualifiers and tag questions," she says. Don't use phrases such as, "This may not be right, but ..."; "I'm just throwing this out there ..."; and at the end of a sentence, "... don't you think?"

5. Claim your space.

Johnson has noticed many women don't stand erect. They may slouch or cross their legs when they speak.

"Women do it all the time -- they stand there and they cross their feet, and they look like a tree swaying in the wind. And they look insecure, they look unstable ... like they're apologizing for being there."

Hillary Clinton would never stand with her feet crossed, Johnson says, but nervous contestants on "American Idol" do.

And so she says (clearly and without qualifiers), "Put your feet shoulder-width apart and stand your ground."