S.C. residents open hearts in state where demand for adoptive, foster parents exceeds supply

At the Irons Poultry Farm, 8-year-old Joseph shows off his back flips on the trampoline. Celee, 10, plays a tune on the upright piano, which prompts 11-year-old T.C. to boast about his drumming. Mia, 5, pines for a little attention.

Judsen, 8, an active child, plays bass. When Joseph isn't on the trampoline, he picks at an electric guitar. Their mother, Christy, sings in church. Their father, Nigel, plays guitar in one of the bands at First Baptist in Newberry.

Corban, 4, the Irons' only biological child, loves to join in the tumult and toying, prompting Christy to ask him to calm down.

The three chicken houses hold up to 230,000 birds.

"The hardest part is naming all of them, because they're all girls," jokes Nigel Irons.

The farm, which sits on a rural road north of Columbia, also can accommodate 1,380 hogs, though the population usually doesn't reach that number.

Nigel and Christy Irons, their six children, milk snake, bunny and three dogs live in the house Nigel grew up in (they have been fixing it up lately). They often visit Christy's parents, George and Karen Milner, in Summerville and like to spend summer days on the beach. Sometimes the family convenes at a mountain house near Lake James in North Carolina, owned by the Milners.

All the children but for the youngest, have a history of abuse and neglect. All were removed from their biological parents, in some cases twice, and placed in foster care. One arrived at the Irons' home with bite marks and broken ribs that recently had healed. Another showed up in a mildewed diaper. None came with any possessions.

The Ironses became their foster parents, and then they became their adoptive parents.

"When I'm not working, I'm working," 31-year-old Nigel Irons says. He holds a part-time job at Walmart. He is often with the children. "This is what we both wanted. This is our normal."

But it hasn't been easy.

The state's child welfare bureaucracy can be intimidating, the costs prohibitive and the angst insufferable for adoptive and foster families, they said. For the Ironses (and surely many other families), it took many months and lots of paperwork before the children were relinquished by the state and settled into their new home -- months during which they remained at risk of further mistreatment.

Demand for foster and adoptive parents far exceeds supply, and although the S.C. Department of Social Services has made recruitment a priority, it is woefully understaffed and underbudgeted to make a significant dent in the problem, according to its own reporting.

None of this has deterred the Ironses -- nor the Milners, who fostered more than 50 children mostly during the years Christy and her three sisters (two biological, one adopted) were growing up in Summerville. Though the challenges were immense, so was the satisfaction, they all say.

On the farm

A big family comes with big challenges.

Nigel Irons' part-time job provides health insurance for him and Corban. The other children, considered high-risk with special needs, are covered by Medicaid. The family buys a private plan for Christy that covers major illness or catastrophic injury and carries a $10,000 deductible. It was difficult to get her coverage because of a minor pre-existing condition.

Christy Irons, 30, has been home-schooling the children and making sure they balance extracurricular activities with chores.

The children help keep the house in order (sort of). They help in the kitchen. They help on the grounds of the farm. T.C., the eldest, helps his father with the chickens and pigs.

A visit to the farm betrays nothing of the children's traumatic past. They are sociable, polite, playful and articulate. They want to show a visitor their bicycle, trampoline and swinging skills. They appear content. They are at home.

But whatever comfort and contentedness have been achieved is the result of patience, time, discipline and love, the Ironses say.

T.C. brooded a lot initially. He had the most life experience accrued and, therefore, the most to lose, Christy Irons says. Indeed, all the children suffered to some degree from a sense of helplessness, she says. Their early lives -- the only lives they knew -- were stripped from them and replaced. For children, the harsh impact of such sudden loss of control is mitigated only by youthful adaptability and confident parental guidance, Christy Irons says.

That parental confidence often is imperiled by learning disabilities, moodiness and maladjustment. Little by little, though, the Irons household has found a family balance -- the children, three of whom are biological siblings, assisting one another through shared experience.

Generation gap

At any given time in South Carolina, about 5,000 children are in foster care. During fiscal year 2009-10, the state DSS succeeded in arranging 532 adoptions. The rest of the children eventually returned to their biological parents or grandparents, aged out of the foster care program or found themselves placed in institutional care or the care of a new foster family.

The average length of time spent in foster care in South Carolina for those children who eventually left care is 17 months, according to DSS data. The Child Welfare League of America reports that when all South Carolina foster children are considered (including those who age out at 18), the average length of time spent in foster care is more than 30 months.

The average amount of time it takes to finalize an adoption is 40 months.

Foster care families are provided a board payment, or monthly subsidy, between $332 and $425, depending on the age of the child, according to the National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections. But this payment falls far short of the Minimum Adequate Rates for Children (the "Foster Care MARC"), which is $600-$750 or higher, depending on travel and child-care expenses.

"There's a gap," says George Milner, who has become a vocal advocate for foster care reform since his days as a foster parent. "We can argue what that gap is, but there's a gap."

When in 1992 George and Karen Milner moved to Summerville from Houston, they decided they would help young people. They had a family meeting with their daughters to decide whether to host exchange students or become a foster home.

Years before, the Milners got involved in a boys' home in Washington, D.C. From their parents, they learned to help the elderly in the neighborhood. Three of George Milner's sisters were foster and adoptive parents.

"It's in the DNA," George Milner says. "We are closet social workers."

The first foster child they cared for was a 9-year-old boy and "a holy terror." He tried to burn down the house. He jumped atop the Christmas tree and ruined the presents. He scratched the bedroom windows with a rock. He broke the furniture.

"He ended up in a hospital facility for kids with severe emotional issues," George Milner says.

From then on, it would be very young boys or girls only.

There is typically a honeymoon period of about two weeks, but then the personal issues come out, Karen Milner says. The last child they fostered was 16-year-old Samantha. She arrived in 2004.

"I need parents," she told the Milners.

She knew she needed to improve at school, George Milner says. She knew she needed guidance and structure. She knew her current foster care situation was dangerous.

With help from the Milners, she was able to realize her school and career goals, to make a new life for herself.

Parenting

George Milner estimates that about 10 percent of foster kids show a remarkable ability to overcome the trauma of abuse and neglect and succeed. Another 10 percent are a lost cause, he says. That leaves 80 percent who can go either way; a large majority of foster children who stand to benefit immeasurably from good parenting or suffer irreparable harm from bad parenting.

A large number of foster parents were abused as children, so they want to help others. Some manage it, but sometimes they are not healthy enough themselves to prevent further damage, Milner says.

Many children who age out of foster care at 18 return to the same abusive conditions they left, where drug addiction, violence and neglect often reign, the Milners say.

DSS strives to reunify families whenever possible, and abusive parents who undergo treatment can qualify as legal guardians, Milner, Charleston-based adoption attorney Thomas P. Lowndes Jr. and others say.

But old habits die hard, Milner says. And the agency doesn't have enough caseworkers to manage the volume. Of the many cases the Milners were involved in, only a couple of caseworkers were on top of their game, he says. "Forty-five were not so good."

Yet an engaged caseworker who visits the home regularly, is available to appear in court when necessary and assists parents with bureaucratic challenges can help make the foster care process more efficient, Milner says.

"Caseloads in the Child Support Enforcement Division (of DSS) remain the highest in the nation with 812 cases per FTE (full-time equivalent, or caseworker)," the agency states in its 2010 Annual Accountability Report, issued in September by state Director Kathleen M. Hayes. "The national average is 270 cases per FTE, according to the FFY 2009 Preliminary Report issued by the Federal Office of Child Support. Managing such high caseloads continues to be a challenge." The report does not describe strategies to address this challenge.

It's not their fault," Lowndes says of the high caseloads. "They don't have the money to hire the people they need."

The 2009-10 budget for DSS was cut 42 percent from the previous year. In the hope of identifying more adoptive families, the agency maintains recruiters at each of four regional adoption offices, according to its report.

Earlier this year, Hayes cited budget woes as the agency's biggest obstacle.

On Friday, she says her agency, despite serious budget cuts, is working to streamline the adoption process. It's reduced the time it takes by more than five months, and reduced delays in certain court hearings by around 40 percent, Hayes says. DSS also is working with the Foster Parent Association (a nongovernmental organization in the state) to boost recruitment.

Milner, who once worked for Exxon in the chemical and plastics division, today is chairman of the board of S.C. Children Come First, a new advocacy organization working to reform the state's child welfare system. He has been speaking at Rotary Club meetings trying to draw attention to the issue.

Simple logic

Nigel Irons was adopted at 6, together with a brother and sister. He remains in touch with his biological father.

Irons says the foster care certification process can be arduous -- and different depending on the place. In Texas, it was generally easier and quicker than in South Carolina, though a Greenville County certification went pretty well, he says. In their home county, it was more difficult.

"We had a lot of trouble getting people to give us the time of day," he says. The DSS office was understaffed and overworked.

To qualify, families must show they are stable and financially sound. A criminal background check is performed. Training is required ("There was a lot of common sense that was discussed," Irons says.).

But little by little, the Ironses got it done, and one child after another -- five total -- were fostered then adopted.

For Christy Irons, all these children, all this bureaucracy, all the tumult and trauma, change and challenges, satisfaction and joy, is normal. It's the way it is. It's all she's known.

As a child, there were at least two or three foster children living with the family at any given time, sometimes more. Once there were eight or nine. The Milners coped with drug problems, vandals, runaways and thieves. They also helped nurture some terrific kids, the family says.

Christy Irons was especially good with the babies, getting them to fall asleep easily, her mother, Karen Milner, says.

Christy shared a room, forged relationships, played, fought and generally accommodated herself to this unusual upbringing.

"You came home and never quite knew who was there," she says. "Most of the time I really enjoyed it."

Christy Irons characterized herself as more logical and rational than emotional. This has predisposed her to being a foster parent, she says.

"I think things through," she says. "Why foster care? There's a need. We have the ability to meet that need. That's why."

Simple.

Complete 14 hours of training through the department. Additional training is required for specialized foster parents.

Complete application with a licensing specialist.

Undergo criminal background check, fingerprinting and check of the Central Registries of Abuse and Neglect for all household members 18 and older.

Provide three references from those who have known the prospective foster parent for at least three years.

Submit medical reports for all family members in home.

Pass fire and health department inspections of the home.

Demonstrate financial and emotional stability, responsibility and a willingness to work closely with the agency.

Cannot use corporal punishment.

Agree to keep all information shared confidential.

Foster parent support

Monthly board payments to help offset the cost of caring for the foster child.

Quarterly allowance for foster children's clothing.

Monthly visits from an agency caseworker.

Training to meet licensing requirements.

For information, visit https://dss.sc.gov/content/ providers/foster.aspx.

S.C. Department of Social Services

Contact a regional office to receive an application.

Complete SLED/Fingerprints and Child Abuse Central register releases on all members of the household 18 and older.

Attend 14 hours of preparatory training.

Fire and sanitation inspections by fire marshal and DHEC.

Home visits: Adoption specialist visits the home and completes interviews.

References received and interviewed by specialist.

Medical exams are required for all family members.

Provide copies of birth certificates, marriage license and divorce petitions and decrees if applicable.

During assessment, family and agency assess qualifications and readiness to adopt.

Selection and notification of family; background of child/children provided.

Family meets child and begins visitation.

Placement occurs when child and family are ready.

Post-placement period can continue up to 12 months.

Finalization of the adoption in family court.

Adoption preservation services are available upon request after the finalization of the adoption.

For information, visit https://dss.sc.gov/content/ customers/adoptions/index.aspx.

Most S.C. children exiting foster care, at all age levels, score significantly lower on standardized tests than nonfoster children, according to 2004 data compiled by S.C. Children Come First.

66 percent scored Below Basic on the English portion of the PASS test.

77 percent scored Below Basic on the Math portion.

What's more, many older youths who 'aged out' of the system have a hard time as adults:

50 percent visited the emergency room of an area hospital.

49 percent received food stamps.

14 percent received services from the Department of Mental Health.

31 percent were arrested within two years.

Reach Adam Parker at 937-5902.