Seeing faith in daughter's eyes

Most of us have heard the expression that the eyes are the window to the soul. There is a great amount of truth in that.

However, I believe that when we look into someone's eyes, it is possible to see not only some of what lies within, but also to get a glimpse of how those eyes view the world around them. This is especially true of children.

As the mother of two, I have seen my children's inner joy, sadness, disappointment, excitement, curiosity and many other emotions in their eyes, but I have also seen them stare wide-eyed in anticipation and expectation of the people and events taking place around them.

As they take these things in, they also provide a window to the world around them through their eyes, as they see it. Sometimes, their eyes reflect a vision of the world as a beautiful and fascinating place; sometimes, it is a bit more frightening and unsafe.

Their eyes also can show us how they view us, which can be a little frightening for us at times. Ultimately, I believe there is much to be learned from looking into the eyes of our children. There is much wisdom to be found there because even as they look to us for answers, the irony is that sometimes those answers can be found right there in front of us, literally staring us in the face.

I have had this type of experience many times as my children have grown, but there is one incident that stands out above the rest.

As I tucked my then-3-year-old daughter in for the night and was about to remind her to say her prayers, she looked up at me with a troubled look in her bright, young eyes. "Mommy," she said softly, "how do I know God is real if I can't see him?"

Even though she was a very articulate child who had begun talking relatively early, I was still taken aback by the weight of the question. I felt an awesome responsibility to say the right thing, to give her an answer that would not only satisfy her curiosity, but would also help build and shape her faith. I recognized the moment for the teachable one that it was; however, I felt completely unequal to the task. Quickly, I closed my eyes in the darkened room and uttered a silent prayer, asking God for the wisdom to answer her.

"Please, God, help me know what to say," I pleaded. "Please let me get this right."

I opened my eyes, took a deep breath, and sat on the bed beside her. I looked at her small face, her waiting eyes reflecting the glow of the night light by the bed. I glanced out the window momentarily and saw the shadows of the trees swaying in the breeze. I looked back at her, and then I knew what I would say.

"Well," I began, "think about all the trees, flowers and grass you see when you look outside. They are proof that he is real. If he didn't put them there, then where did they come from?" I then added, "God is also like the wind. You can see it move the trees, and you can feel it on your face; so even though you can't see it, you know that it's there."

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating this. Then a knowing smile grew across her face. Her eyes lit up as she said, "Oh, I get it! I can't see my heart, but I can feel it beating in my chest, so I know that it's there!"

Sixteen years have passed since that night, and my beautiful, 19-year-old daughter, Paige, continues to help me learn what life is all about. I may never know how much, or even if, that answer contributed to her faith, but I do know that I learned something about faith that night. When she looked at me, I could see that she saw me as a pillar of strength and wisdom, as someone who would provide her with the answer.

Looking into her eyes then, I saw what I still see today -- a reflection of myself that makes me strive to be the person she needs me to be.

Ultimately, the answer was right in front of me all the time, for I know God is real because I see him in my daughter's eyes.

Joy Hardy lives in Goose Creek and teaches English at Stratford High School. She also is an aspiring singer/songwriter. You may reach Joy at joyhardy@comcast.net.