Preventing domestic violence

Five years later, the pain is still evident on Doug and Shirley Warner's faces.

Their daughter, Liza, was 29 when she was slain. Her husband bound her and then fired the stolen shotgun at her before killing himself.

The Warners of West Ashley don't want anyone else to feel like this.

"We would love to help prevent other families from losing their children," said Shirley Warner, Liza's stepmother of 20 years.

Last week, they were surrounded by more than 50 others who share their goal. Those gathered were selected by a service organization that believed each of them could help figure out how to prevent domestic violence. This meeting of the minds, dubbed Collaborating to Prevent Violence Against Women, included counselors, law enforcement and emergency shelter staff. There were educators, advocates, clergy, community outreach organizations, medical professionals and a state legislator.

"Together, we have a much better chance of solving this problem than by ourselves," said Patricia Warner, one of the organizers. She is not related to Doug and Shirley Warner.

South Carolina ranks second nationally in the rate of women slain by men, according to the most recent report by the Violence Policy Center. The nonprofit analyzed 2006 homicide data and found that 98 percent of the female victims knew their killers.

State Attorney General Henry McMaster has named domestic violence the No. 1 crime problem in the state. More than 35,000 victims report incidents of domestic violence each year, which the State Law Enforcement Division defines as aggravated assaults, simple assaults or intimidation between intimates: spouses, common-law spouses, ex-spouses or boyfriends and girlfriends.

The Zonta Club of Charleston organized the recent round-table after choosing domestic violence as its focus. Zonta International, founded in 1919, is made up of professionals interested in improving the status of women through service and advocacy.

By bringing together various experts on domestic violence, the local club hoped to identify programs and resources that are working, and to determine further ways to prevent domestic violence.

Suggestions included:

--Educate children at a younger age about healthy relationships.

--Incorporate information on domestic violence into the existing curricula in all schools.

--Impose stiffer and consistent penalties for abusers and enforce current laws.

--Improve training for first responders on how to screen and refer involved parties to available resources.

--Work toward equal treatment of women in work and other areas of society.

--Make communities aware that anger and violence are not an acceptable or effective way to communicate.

--Link the available resources so organizations can find each other and victims can find the resources they need.

"There are several different agencies in the Charleston area, but without getting together, what good does it do?" said Kim Perkins, a court advocate with Family Services. "Otherwise, we're shuffling people around. We owe it to the victims we're working with to know what's out there — so that we're not referring out, referring out, referring out, so we can be a one-stop shop of information to let them know what's available in the community."

Sarah Finkelstein said she benefited from learning of other groups that are working to combat domestic violence. She is president of The National Council of Jewish Women's local chapter, which has worked on domestic violence awareness the last three and a half years, mainly by placing posters in thousands of restrooms.

Recent years have seen a mushrooming of groups interested in working on domestic violence, she said.

"It's not a secret anymore," Finkelstein said. "People will talk about it. These groups are bringing it to the forefront."

The Zonta Club of Charleston plans to distribute a report of the event along with a database of those who attended in order to keep the conversation about domestic violence alive.

The Warners will be on the list, along with the name of their fledgling nonprofit, Liza's Lifeline of South Carolina.

"I want my daughter's name to live on," Doug Warner said. "I feel she wants me to have it live on, to help battered women."

Signs of an abusive relationship

Does your partner:

--Embarrass you with put-downs?

--Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

--Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

--Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

--Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

--Make all of the decisions?

--Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

--Prevent you from working or attending school?

--Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault or even deny doing it?

--Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

--Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

--Shove you, slap you, choke you or hit you?

--Try to force you to drop charges?

--Threaten to commit suicide?

--Threaten to kill you?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

For free and confidential support and information 24 hours a day, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or call 211. The 211 program is operated by Trident United Way.