A guide to speedy recovery from being laid off

OK, so it happened. It wasn't your fault. How could this happen? Who do they think they are ... yadda, yadda! You were laid off and plunged into the sea of job-hungry applicants chomping on the bait of your perfect new job.

Maybe it has been a long time since you've been in the water. Maybe you're not sure you remember how to swim. There is networking to do and your resume isn't going to send itself out, but take it from someone who has been there and done that, try to quiet the voices inside your head so you can hear yourself think.

Then, follow these few steps to a speedier recovery. You'll be glad you did.

First of all, cry. Long, hard, shoulder-racking sobs are best. The harder you cry, the more tired you'll be of crying and the sooner you'll stop. This is good because nobody likes a sourpuss.

Everybody tells you to keep your chin up, but a gut-wrenching sob is coming, so you might as well get it over with. Don't wallow in it, but give yourself some time to grieve.

Then dry your eyes and put on some makeup if you're a girl (or a guy who likes makeup. Who am I to judge?) because you don't look so cute when crying.

Next, look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Self, I am not defined by this!" Your job is only one aspect of who you are. Who, besides former Widget King or Queen of Accounting, are you? Maybe the loving spouse or thoughtful friend inside you has taken a backseat lately.

Re-evaluate. Keep your loved ones close and treat each other with care. This is no time to berate each other with should haves or could haves, or why no one else empties the dishwasher. Petty arguments only make a difficult situation worse.

This brings me to the next step. Stop thinking of it as a difficult situation. Plenty of people you don't even know will do that for you. Just watch the news or follow the stock market. These people are experts. They don't need your help with the gloomy side of life. Tune it out and live in the light.

You have an opportunity here, only made possible by the fact that you're no longer Princess of the PR Department. Now is the time to not only hope but believe (pretend if you have to) that it will happen. Only people with positive attitudes get jobs in a tough economy. I don't know if that's really true, but I dare you to prove me right.

So you know who you are and believe that the best is yet to come. Get up and get out. Work out at the gym, take a walk, rediscover the library, go somewhere, for goodness sake.

You'll see people out there doing stuff, which will remind you that there's a whole world outside of your home. You'll remember what it's like to be one of those people doing some of that stuff and you'll long to live among them again.

The couch will call. The TV will beckon. But you won't hear their plaintive cries. You'll be out frolicking among the people who do stuff.

Next, put some serious thought into reinventing yourself. Not necessarily the kind that involves going back to school or taking a class, though good possibilities, but I bet there's stuff you already know that you can put to work.

Maybe your "human calculator" skills have been relegated to late night party entertainment or maybe they told you your ability to speak French without ever having studied the language was a mere fluke.

Well, stop listening to "them." Flukes are what make the world go round. You might be able to turn your math-doing, French-speaking self into the next (you fill in the blank). It's time to think outside the box because it's wide open.

Yes, there are resumes to update and there is networking to do.

But taking these first few steps to recovery will help you feel more able to jump back in with the big fish.

Here's hoping ... no, here's believing, that some lucky employer lands the big one, and it's you.

lives in Charleston and is currently reinventing herself as a freelance writer and marketing/PR specialist after being laid off in the fall of 2008. Contact her at brenda.braye@gmail.com.