Facebook is ... a treasure trove of wacky status updates

Facebook is ... awesome, dreadful, spectacular, stupid, stupendous, or whatever else you want it to be.

Now, it's in Preview. Consider this column a weekly "best of" edition: my friends, their status updates, news feeds, etcetera, etcetera ...

It's all the news that's fit to Facebook. So, let's get to it ...

--Cynthia is slightly amazed at the URL that one of the job candidates provided: a link showcasing his graphic design work for erotic clubs. Topless women on them.

--Rory is "Happy Birthday to my dog Bleu. Too bad she is a dog and she has no idea." Also, Rory got up on the wrong side of the bed, the side with dog pee on the floor ...

--John is sippin' on a fat tire. Er, John T. Roberson is sippin' on a Flat Tire ...

--In other news, Kenny agrees that Romance with no Finance is a Nuisance. Guess I gotta turn back into Duncan Hines, baking cakes again. Where's my Betty Crocker?

--Rough week for Valerie ... Her cat peed in the house, she came to home to an empty gerbil cage, her kids were crying, then she got summoned for jury duty ...

--Tasha would rather suffer through a pap smear than go to Chuck-e-Cheese again anytime soon ...

--Moving on ... Susu is slightly disturbed that her mom is on Facebook, and Courtney is living spherically.

--Matthew says for Facebook's upcoming rules changes, ban the following from status updates: "TGIF," "Ready for Friday," "Not ready for Monday," and the word "chillin'."

--Meanwhile, Elizabeth says, "It's less than a month until opening day. Get your (fantasy) actives (roster) down to 25!" Then Sara was like "What are you talkin' about?" And Elizabeth said, "MLB opening day. I think I just cried a little." Then Sara was all, " OH. Haha. I thought you were talking about yogurt or something ... you know, actives."

--Brooklyn is ready for a GOOOOOOOOD TIME!!!!! And Tiawanna is getting ready 4 bed!!!!!!!!!!

--Marcus feels like a black crow flying in a blue, blue sky, while Rob Young is feeling a tear, and yes, there's another tear for Marcus ...

--Kristin might as well finish off the bottle, Bryce hates when he gets a craving for Chick-fil-A and Gerald's on Sundays, and Chad is tired of being mocked by the Wii Fit ...

--On a final note, Brian got punked by Rob Young. And says Rob Young: "Yup, so did the rest of my Facebook friends."