Do you need to find a new significant other or a new business partner? You’ve got to send out the right signals. Your speech, actions, attitude and dress code all play a part.

If you’re negative, you’ll attract negative people. If you’re cool and together, you’ll attract like-minded people.

Look at every aspect, however. If you’re too upbeat and positive, with an ear for listening to troubles, you can also attract negative people. Your kindness can be your downfall. When you take control of your world, it will force other people to change in how they relate to you. Some tips:

Examine your thoughts. You make goals and manage time based on your thoughts.

Look at speech patterns. Do you always talk troubles? Do you constantly act too flippant? The way you talk sends powerful signals to the world.

Reflect on a daily routine. Are you structured in approaching your day or do you drift and seek to goof off?

We’ve all heard advice that we should pretend to be the person we desire to become. We have to “fake it until we make it.” But you have to take specific actions to set yourself up for success. You will have to make small changes to see what works. We all have friends who are needy and negative, but we don’t want to get dragged down by them. It’s not fair to us.

We run our lives on the strengths of people around us. Reflecting on our circle of relationships lets us define steps to correct what isn’t working.